All content of this blog is my own opinion only. It does not represent the views of any organisation or association I may work for, or be associated with. Nothing within this blog should be considered as medical advice and you should always consult your Doctor.

Dear Sleep Trainer Expert

This has been on the "notes" section of the Facebook wall for a while, but as I often get asked where it is, I'm resharing here :)  written by Emma Ashworth Breastfeeding Counsellor.

Dear Sleep Trainer Expert,

My Grandfather died a month ago and my Grandmother was still not sleeping very well until last week and she was crying a lot in the night. It's really been disturbing my sleep. She had a stroke about 2 years ago and can't walk or talk so I'm her primary carer. It's hard work but I love her, and I know it will pass but I really needed more sleep! I was desperate!

I wanted to tell you how pleased I was to find your book "The Contented Little Baby Whisperer's guide to Saving my Sleep". Over the last few nights I've been sensible and strong. It's been tough, but we did it!

I've put Gran onto a routine where I feed her at 7pm, and that's THAT. She's learning now that if she's thirsty in the night, she'll have to wait. I bathe her with the lights low and tuck her in bed with 16 blankets, said goodnight and left her to it. Let me tell you she didn't half complain on that first night! She cried and cried but I wasn't going to let her manipulate me. Just because she's slept next to Grandpa for the last 45 years! She has to learn to be independent from other people, I realise that now.

I found that going in every few minutes and not giving her eye contact eventually meant she got the message. She was sick at one point which was a shock. I didn't know old people could manipulate like that! Anyway, I cleaned her up and just ignored it so she won't be trying that again.

She seems very happy today. Well, she's quiet anyway. Not hassling me at all! Bonus.

I can't wait to tell all my friends about your amazing system. My friend Sally has a disabled daughter who is 10 and can't talk or walk. I'm sure she'd find this system works brilliantly for her, too.

Love your biggest fan,



  1. Powerful. And a great line for anyone who says, "Just let him/her cry a little," is, "I wouldn't let you cry alone if you needed me."

  2. Oh breathe16 I love that reply! I'm going to use that.

  3. I'm so pleased I read this. It validates my decision...

    I tried to get advice from a health professional I trusted as my little one was feeding every 45 minutes during the day until I was helped by my Dr with my milk supply. The HP told me that I was overfeeding my (breastfed) son and that I should buy "contented little baby" and give him some tough love. Another tip was to go out for three hours and leave him with a babysitter (and not leave any milk) so that he could learn to get onto a schedule. I went home in tears thinking that I had been doing "the wrong thing" by meeting my baby's needs when it had felt so right (if exhausting) to do so.

    Then I figured if the idea of not continuing with what I was already doing was so distressing then it clearly wasn't right for me. This is such a great analogy, thank you.

    1. Hi Anonymous,
      If you're on facebook, please come and join us
      We are a group of likeminded mummies who will validate and support your gentle parenting 100%.

  4. Anon - what toxic advice from your HV! Poor you, and lucky baby for having such a tuned in and brilliant mummy. There's loads of great info on this site if you need any more reassurances or bf support. Good luck! X


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