My eldest child is what many would typically label "challenging", more broadminded people might label "spirited", and I tend to label "interesting". In all honesty I'm eternally grateful for my first, because without her I would never have explored parenting to the depths I have, in an attempt to find something that help create calm! My second child is much more "typical", and the chances are if you are thinking, do you really need one parenting book, let alone several to raise kids? you have this type! ;)Anyway along the way I've read and tried various things, and I've watched and listened to others, both online and "in real life". Like other areas of parenting such as feeding or sleep, general "discipline" is a minefield of conflicting advice! Time outs, naughty chairs, reward stickers, behaviour charts - versus an equal number advising against one option or another. Confused?
What it's important to understand is just like breastfeeding or sleep - some advice is evidence based opinion, and some is just a random persons opinion that has become popular. Experts disagree and furthermore not all children are the same, what helps one may hinder another. Much like sleep techniques or starting solids - the most popular methods are not always the most effective or produce the best outcome longterm...
As I said above my first child is of the more interesting variety, and was always one step ahead of many conventional "techniques"; I remember reading one particular book of you say x and then the child says something along the lines of y, and I've seen a lot of parents use it and it works! Mine had a completely different answer that there was no backup plan in the book for!
It was in looking for alternatives that I began reading about the often not so positive longer term impact of many methods popular today - which really got me thinking about parenting on a whole different level.
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I think it's important to be able to take "ideals" from this book - if you can meet them all great! But it's definitely more about an overall message rather than instructions (otherwise you will be left thinking yes but what do I do when he does xyz!), and I try to apply these principles to my thinking, which in turn provokes a much bigger change really than just reading a new "how to" plan - otherwise when your child changes and the goalposts shift (as they inevitably do) you surely have to start all over again?
I believe in US you can now get it on DVD for non bookworms!
So, I thought I might start a random parenting thoughts entry - as much because I like to remind myself of what I consider important bits as anything else. I don't expect everyone to agree, I'm not an expert child psychologist or a super nanny ;) nor am I perfect in real life - it's about ideals right? But I thought maybe sharing some bits that helped us might be of use to others.
AA
Random Parenting Thought 1 - The Basic Motivation
